Beautiful Work

Let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands…. Psalm 90:17a

How do you develop a deep friendship with your husband? October 26, 2009

Filed under: Wife-ing — Andie @ 2:43 pm

To piggyback off of last week’s topic, we’re chatting about friendships with our husbands this week. I personally was really encouraged to LIKE my husband, (not just agape-love him) from the book Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney. If you read this before young children, I’d recommend that you reread it. I found it very timely during the mom-of-toddlers time of life.

DSC_0089I like this guy. He is coming up with absurd baby names in this pic.

We like to keep things light as much as possible. Certainly, there are lots of serious things to talk about in life. However, as much as possible, we make each other laugh. We use silly voices, faces, and just generally give each other a hard time about stuff. I think this improves our friendship because we like to be around each other.

I try to make sure to talk through my serious thoughts with Andrew. It is tempting for me to process with girlfriends rather than my husband. They understand me more easily than Andrew does many times. When I consistently turn to friends first, this hinders my friendship with my husband. Not to say that I do not tell my friends what’s going on, but I just make sure I cover those topics with my husband thoroughly so that he knows the deepest parts of me.

Dates. This is where we find time to talk. Andrew has made it a priority that we have a babysitter weekly. (Believe me, I know this is a tricky thing to make happen financially, etc!) The main thing is that we KNOW that we will have an uninterrupted lengthy time to talk on a regular basis. This helps me, an external processor, to make sure I am opening my heart to my husband and getting to hear his heart as well.

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2 Responses to “How do you develop a deep friendship with your husband?”

  1. tosha Says:

    Hi Beautiful Work. I stop by from time to time but don’t usually comment. This has been on my mind lately, though. So here goes…

    For my husband and I, we find some of the sweetest communion is in confessing our failures to each other and finding fellowship in our weaknesses. That might seem odd, but what’s so wonderful about marriage is that it’s a safe place to be broken. There are few things more intimate than weakness and contrition.

    Oh, and we crack each other up a lot. Both confessing and cracking are important to us :)

  2. Andie Says:

    Amen, Tosha. Andrew and I just recently had a sweet time being transparent about situations in our lives that we feel are most dangerous to our marriage. This was good because even confessing it and knowing where the other one struggles is a safe guard.


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