Beautiful Work

Let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands…. Psalm 90:17a

It is all in my head! April 29, 2009

Filed under: Wife-ing — Gretchen @ 11:13 am

A few ways that I cultivate respect for my husband…

1.  Think on truth! I have often found when we do not have time to communicate (which happens often due to his travel schedule) I will often think the worse of it.  I will think things like he doesn’t care, he is way off in his priorities, he died in a car accident, etc.  I have come to find that this is often the farthest from what is really going on.  It is discipline for me to only dwell on what I know to be a fact and to stop assuming things until I have time to lovingly ask questions.  It is also hard for me to wait :)  But my assuming has really damaged our relationship and it is something I want to strive to avoid at all costs.  I know my husband loves me and the family, I know he works hard to further the gospel and spread the message of salvation, and I know he is not perfect.  He is much more receptive to questions/correction when it comes from a place of respect and assumptions of good rather than delusion or negative.

2.  Think on positives! Instead of keeping a list of wrongs, try and everyday think on the good things your husband does.  I make it a goal to actively think everyday about the wonderful things my husband has done that day or in the past if he is gone.  These can be little things like the kind look he gave me in the morning, or the diaper he just changed, or the morning he let me sleep in without me asking :)

3.  Learn and/or observe your husband where he excels! Another thing that has helped me is really listening to my husband talk about his work.  I try to learn as much about what he does and listen to him actively.  I also try to just listen and not talk or offer advice unless asked :)  Some things that he has to deal with absolutely make me cringe and I want to rush in and fix the situation.  Learning to be patient and watch as he navigates tough waters and makes crazy things  happen has helped me realize how wonderful he is and how faithful the Lord is to teach and guide.  I was able to observe my husband produce a video recently and was blown away by his skills in getting things done.


2 Responses to “It is all in my head!”

  1. Jane Says:

    Gretchen, Thank you so much for this timely post! I am reading it about a week late, but it has really encouraged me today. I spent a two year stretch with my husband traveling a lot and I experienced the same kind of discontentment for no reason! :( He hasn’t traveled for over 6 months although he is in the middle of a 3 week trip right now. It took me the first week to get into the traveling groove and I was up at night with worries. I want to grow in this area of my life–especially thinking on truth. As women I think we so easily struggle with the “what ifs?” Thanks for your encouragement!

  2. Erin Says:

    Thanks for the reminder, Gretch! The scripture we chose for our wedding was Phillipians 4:8-9 “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me-everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.”

    I have keep coming back to these verses when it comes to my thoughts about and towards my husband! I really do experience God’s peace much more when I think about what is true vs what I’m assuming (and it’s usually not pretty :). And when this feels SO hard, read Phil 4:13! :)

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