Most all of our conflict tends to come from our expectations. This can be anything from our roles to chores to clothing. One of the funny expectations that has caused conflict has come from meshing our idea of decor and style. When we got married I had no idea Lukas would care so much about things like our dishes and color schemes. Prior to marriage all I knew was that he didn’t like pink, girly things. This changed when we went to register for wedding gifts together. He actually notices things like dishes and silverware and what kind of couch we have. He would rather go without something than to compromise. I tend to go for function first and looks second, thus we encounter conflict.
This conflict has taught us how to communicate. I know it sounds silly but it has shown both of us that we can not assume things about the other person. Lukas always keeps me guessing as to what he actually has an opinion about and what he doesn’t. It keeps me on my toes and keeps me asking him intentional questions rather than embarking out on my own to solve the problem. It also has spurred me to find quality items for less money. One has to get very creative at shopping but it is possible and can be done.